Russell, Jack and I had our injections for the India trip before we left New York. Nik declined jabs on account of his impenetrable immune system – though, as Russ pointed out, we lose Nik for monthly periods throughout the year when he’s knocked for six by such debilitating illnesses as the common cold. Anyhow, in the current climate of our every movement and spoken word being recorded for the documentary and website, it was decided (by Nik, now I come to think of it) that this ordeal should be filmed.
Prior to the jabs the doctor required us to fill out a form before he could write a prescription for Maleria pills. Part of this included a section of ailments and diseases that we should tick if applicable. There were the usual suspects, “chest pains, asthma” etc – but also some baffling symptoms that I found more tricky to respond to. “Decreased life enjoyment” – that’s hard to measure. Since this morning? No. Has my zest for life diminished since the euphoric innocence of childhood? Almost certainly. The form also read, “Thoughts of death” – what, ever? Well, when I was 7 my friend’s pet dog was run over and I did fleetingly ponder, what happens to us when we die? You did? Right, you can forget the maleria pills, it’s off to the asylum for you, you morbid pervert.
I don’t mind admitting that I do not relish injections. I come over all delicate and effete and am convinced that I’ll faint and embarrass myself further. Jack “Edward Camera Hands” Bayles was also having jabs so Suzi filmed the event. We decided that the actual incision of needles was a private matter between doctor and patient and should not be filmed, especially as two of the four were in our naked bottoms. This code of ethics was respectfully honoured by Suzi throughout Jack’s time in the bathroom and did give me a wave of reassurance as I prepared for my dreaded moment.
So, my turn then. Bless the doctor, he was aware of my anxiety and attempted a technique with me that I imagine is normally reserved for the under fives. “Count to three” he said and no sooner had I uttered “one” than the first injection was over. Phew. “I’ll be OK now”, I thought, “this system is full-proof! You’ve met your match, Mr Needle.” My new-found confidence even punched its way through the awkward arse show for the final two jabs and just as I prepared to reflect on a triumphant shame-free set of injections I heard juvenile sniggering from the living room, looked up and realised that Suzi was filming me through the crack (in the bathroom door, not my botty, you sickos) – “Nik, Jack, you bastards! Ouch – I didn’t count to three!”
I’m sorry… but I had to laugh. A LOT!!!!
I hate needles…. so I understand your reservations.
That doctor’s trick….. never works!!!!
But the filming ……. LMFAO!!!
Gee I dunno Fred. Those needles look reallllyyy scary!
I can’t stand needles! I recently gave blood for the first time and she had me count to three also. I hope I don’t need any injections for a long time xp.
My doc has done that same thing to me, the count to three ordeal… but the thing is, it makes me jump then, so it hurts three times as much and leaves a huge bruise.
ooooooooo! i wanna see the vid! umm…sorry curiousity! i hope those shots are worth it…ouch!
thanks for the blog! :)
Since I am a legal drug pusher in the States, do highly recommend the drugs and injections if not too late. Don’t want to lose a one of you, even if for a few days of recovery! Thanks for working so hard to have these wonderful experiences. I live vicariosly through you all every day!
Bless you all and happy trails! (And happy tails as it were!)
Love you all, you’re just like family!
X (And triple X for Russ! I wield a mean kinky streak!) (But Alfie might make a good go!)
i had to take typhoid pills before i went to russia once. the doctor told me that “this shot is really horrible. i’m not even going to show you” and gave me the pills, hahaha
I think that’s cute (in a funny, strange sorta way) that you were so scared.
Given that I’m probably half your size and often get needles with no fear…
Also, don’t go to India. I like you in Melbourne. We will cry when you all leave. x
Saw the show last night at Hamer Hall – I sat next to a very cute guy and I really wanted you to lock the doors .. you said you would.. oh and you mentioned Summer Heights High – I cast that show and was thrilled you loved our ‘boys’ in it..they are great aren’t they..and thank you for clearing up that Fawlty Towers not a doco..that ..sorry I mean THAT killed me.. lAST NIGHT (shit sorry me not yelling, me have long fingers) was a brilliant show, with pure rock n roll feel, energy and I hope appropriate backstage plaster casting..thanks for visiting and for not being eaten by a shark..
tattoo needles are the best needles.. go forth and continue to make us laugh with your delighful observations …
supper crazy funny way to end a tragic day thank you man
Hi Alfie and friends
They have to be cautious with malaria medication because it can affect a person’s mental well-being (honestly!).
Take care everyone…please update us from India, I’d love to see this country, it seems a beautiful and fascinating place.
Safe journey x
I would have held your hands…..x
I’m seeing the blurry white lines too. I remember back in the day, had to pay good money for the same effect. Thank-you The Gang Of Russell for the appealing frugal drug induced sensibilities.
Amusing to read when I’m not the one presenting any part of my anatomy to be jabbed with a needle – thanks!
Evoked an image of Tony Hancock in The Blood Donor being presented with a list of ailments, asked if he had ever had any and responding aghast: ‘No I have not – and especially not that one…’
Also a vision of the doctore refusing to inject Russell on the basis that he’s attended a gig and personally heard him say: ‘We’re all going to die one day….’
Oh, and language pedant that I am – it’s ‘fool-proof’.