By Producer Gareth
We’ve been back from Australia for over two weeks and I still find myself thinking about the literally turbulent journey home. Nicola and I spent 5 hours delayed at Singapore airport and to make matters worse I’d not allowed enough time to change back into jeans from my comfy shellsuit bottoms (yes, what I lack in an up to date hair cut I make up for in ridiculous 80’s based clothing) so, much to Nicola’s amusement, wore them tucked into my workman-style boots for the entire duration – I looked stupid, I stomped around that place like an angry Bob the Builder. Since returning Nik, Russell, Jack and I have all fallen victim to jetlag, its effects noticeably more potent than on previous trips – although I find it increasingly difficult to distinguish between the drowsy results of jetlag and my crippling infatuation with Night Nurse.
Australia was a wonderful, friendly country. We all agreed that it’s easy to see why so many travelling Brits fall in love with the place and never return. I only have two gripes. One – at no point during our stay did I hear anyone utter the phrases “G’day mate”, “Fair dinkum”, or “Put another shrimp on the barbie” – now what sort of loopy, backwards country refuses to adhere to prejudicial foreign stereotypes? And two, I didn’t get to visit the set of Neighbours. My fascination with Neighbours, as with most people my age, dates back to childhood. I lived and breathed that cheery soap opera all through my adolescent years and far too long into adulthood. Its stars were my heroes. As a teenager I took a picture from the Jason Donavan Annual to the hairdressers for two years – he had a wonderful centre parting, that guy. The thought that one day I may actually be able to go to Ramsey Street would’ve blown my tiny mind as a youngster so imagine how excited I was at this prospect when we landed in Melbourne – the home of Neighbours.
Unfortunately my suggestion to visit that sacred street was met with laughter and derision by our travelling band of goons. I did sense that Russ was momentarily curious but he was quickly bullied out of the idea by the other jeering twits I call colleagues/friends. So this magical moment was not to be and as if the Gods where taunting me, my Neighbours torment intensified when I came to within touching distance of meeting one of the stars of the show – Libby Kennedy. Well, apparently. On our penultimate night in Melbourne a few of us went to a nightclub to celebrate a successful gig. Unaware of my fascination with the show, one of our Australian party informed me that we had just missed Libby, who was (allegedly) seen darting from the club – drunk. “No, no”, I insisted, “I won’t have that, not Libby. You must be mistaken. Libby would not be drunk”. “Yes, Gareth – it was her.” Libby, top rate journalist turned teacher, devoted mother, supportive daughter to Karl and Susan – granted there was that bad patch when she dated bad boy Darren Stark, but that was just a silly phase. Drunk? You may as well tell me that Harold has gone nuts and embarked on a mad spree of systematically injecting unsuspecting nightclubbers of Melbourne with the HIV virus. It’s just not in his nature.
Well they do say never meet your heroes so maybe it’s all for the best. In any case, I’ve just seen Libby on BBC Breakfast News promoting Neighbour’s 25th anniversary and she was sober as a judge. Now, the BBC is in London White City, right…?
The Night Nurse stuff isn’t doing you any favors. Take this from a life long insomniac. I have taken everything, legal and otherwise, to try and get a good night’s sleep and over the counter sedatives are not the way to go.
I thought about this over the weekend when I saw some viddycast footage where Russ and the guys were looking through a bag full of potential over the counter remedies you have. Gareth, there are problems in life the one must just endour and learn to live with. Medicine is not always a rememdy for things. For your jet lag or insomnia, be serious about going to bed. Make love or take a bath before going to bed. Read a soothing story or talk to your mother or someone you dearly love. People will finally sleep when they are tired enough and read, unless there are serious problems. If there are serious problems Night Nurse and the like are your enemy not a help.
Take care doll.
alfie sorry you were angry bob the builder, i hope your feeling much better,after jet lag, and hows it going with the night nurse? im concerned, im sorry you didnt get to meet your idol. but one day,you never know. i would love to meet you alfie, as well as russell nickola and nick. you guys look like a charming heartfelt bunch of fun people. good read.xx
Hey Gareth…I can visualize you stomping around in those pants… truely a loverly visual :)
Jet lag and sleeping..seriously let me help you…
everynight before bed…Melatonin 3 – 9 mg start with 3mg and see how it goes…and don’t forget Magnesium…every cell in your brain needs it and as you sleep your brain needs to recharge too..so both of them and lots and I mean lots of water…and beer and cider don’t count..
Well let me know if you guys need some taking care of on the road…I’m a fab cook….
Hope you guys get to Canada soon
no more Night Nurse ok ??
it’s really bad for you…and my suggestions are totally natural and every cell in your body needs them..
cheers
haha brilliant gareth your best so far xx
Gareth PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH THE NIGHT NURSE. It has Paracetamol in it and even a small overdose (easy to do if you’re taking something else with Paracetamol in) can be fatal. It buggers your liver but you don’t know till several days afterwards. Don’t be a silly.
We always have Neighbours characters coming over for Uni evenings at the beginning of the year (Hertfordshire University). If ever you wanted to meet them you just need to aim at the uni parties and find a student to bribe to sign you in :)
Please tell me someone called you a ‘dag’ though?!
I used to love Neighbours … haven’t watched it for years now … is Toady still there?!
thanks Gareth, enjoyed that! x
Gidday Gareth!
Tracie from Australia here.. I’ll be sure to say G’Day next time you’re here in Oz…and that’s Fair Dinkum! Anyway, i’m off now -like a bucket of prawns in the sun, mate. (and yes, a lot of us do speak this way, but we put on our “posh” voices so as not to appear too tragically colonial to our visiting British forefathers). XX
Hmm…Sorry for your terrible disappointment. Such a long trip, its a shame you were out voted. But, the story was a good diversion from the night nurse issue! “And it would’ve worked if not for those stupid kids!” I definetly agree with everyone else that followed in telling you what to do or not to do. However, let court of russellbrand.tv take note: sleep is a necessity. Don’t be passive about insomnia, it is bad for you too. Though, much hilarity has come from my own experiences with insomnia, so please do film your sleep deprived state!@
Peace, love, joy, and healing to you gareth!
sarah
Honey, you are so far behind, you are ahead. The 80′s trends are BACK !
Hi, Russell. I just finished reading your book! I had to buy it after I heard your interview on Fresh Air (NPR). I really enjoyed it. You have quite the vocabulary – I had to use my dictionary a lot. The best part is that my internal dialogue now has a British accent. (I read the book with your voice in my head.) It will probably wear off soon, but it’ll be nice while it lasts. You have a new fan in the States. ~Rene
I had one of those meet your heroes moments during your trip to Australia, when i got nice and close to Russell after the gig at the Horden. It could’ve really turned me off him, because A: he didn’t fall instantly in love with me after i gave him a necklace i bought for him and B: i had to witness his bodyguard give the Slapper next to me tickets to the after-party that she clearly didn’t deserve! I was completely struck dumb in his presence and nothing played out the way i had played it in my head during many restless nights suffering from insomnia.
But my love for Russell will endure, how can it not?
As for Ramsey Street……it’s not really even called Ramsey Street! Hehe.
As for not hearing those famous Australian colloquialisms, its because you didnt venture far enough out of the big cities. Here, in Cairns ,Far North Queensland you would have heard plenty of ‘G’day mates’ and such talk of shrimps and B.B.Q’s. I, being from Melbourne origionally thought such talk didnt really exist either until I moved here. So, next time Russ and the gangs land on our shores please drop into Cairns and soak up the friendly locals and the paradise like beaches.xxxx
I’m in complete agreement with Bekka. It is astounding how many people truly do say “Bonza” “Fair Dinkum” and “G’day” once you get beyond the big cities. (“Shrimps,” however is a foul slander on our fair land. It is “prawns,” thank you very much!)
Do visit us again, and do a tour of regional centres, (Taree, for example, has a magnificent theatre!) you’ll find plenty of fellow Neighbours fans and hear enough bizarre colloquialisms to last you a good long while. (I know people who say – without a trace of post-modern self-aware irony – “flat out like a lizard drinking.”)
Ha Jason Donovan!?!?! That guy was plastered all over my bedroom walls. He was the hottest thing.