From Twitter:You might like to go to guardian.co.uk then go to football, then read my article.Then you could teach me how to convey that info succinctly.
From Twitter:When famous, sometimes people make up preposterous lies for publicity. Boundless silly untruths. Better than drug addiction though. LOVE. X
From Twitter:Look, the important thing is to clear up confusion – buy or nick Russell Brand in NYC on DVD. And get some fags while you’re at it. Happy? x
From Twitter:Are you an American? Why not get Russell Brand in NYC. I like seeing my name in charts. Better a chart than a register. Feel free to nick it
From Twitter:Kobe Bryant said I inspired the Lakers to victory. At West Ham they say I inspire them to defeat. What is this terrible gift? am I an X-man?
From Twitter:There has been an earthquake which I may have caused with some of my erotic dancing. Apologies. It quaked like crazy but, God it was good.x
From Twitter:Sat in a seat so good at the Lakers game that I now have some genetic material from Koby Bryant.Anyone interested in cloning him contact me.
From Twitter:Of course if you’re in Europe it’s the day but the same applies to clouds. Plus the moon turns up in the day sometimes, all embarrassed. x