by Russell Brand
Should Racists be allowed on Question Time? This seems to be the question plaguing our nation from where I’m standing across the sea -where everyone is a potential immigrant. I think the answer is “yes” – as long as it’s Gardeners’ Question Time; I’d like to hear BNP Arkala Nick Griffin fuming at a Dahlia on account of it’s hue or provenance- “Bloody flowers- growing over here- stealing our bees.”
I suppose if you’re of the view that extremists are fundamentally (and God knows they love a bit of fundamentalism) wrong then there’s no harm in popping them on the telly and letting them gurgle up their chuckle brained hate-broth – the more people who witness Nick Griffin equivocate on myopic loathing the better it is. He’s a daft sod so there’s no risk of him turning up on Question Time and being so dashed magnetic and persuasive that Dickie Dimbleby slips under the table to issue a worshipful Saxon nosh-job.
He’ll just prattle on in a vague way about borders and division when quite obviously, spiritually and physically we are one. We have 30 percent identical DNA to Bananas, 60 percent identical to Earth worms and 98 percent identical to chimpanzees, how different then can we be from each other?
When I was a junkie (sorry, did I ever mention that?) I once hung out with BNP berk protégé Mark Collett who at that time was leader of the young BNP – suggested slogan “Why let your youth and innocence prevent you loathing others for being slightly different? Join the young BNP”
How bloody young? Can we encourage newborn Caucasian babies to recoil from non-white medics? To enact an oily clamber into the Aryan sanctity of the womb if they encounter pigmental variation amidst the howls and placenta? Perhaps we should post jingoistic pamphlets into the vaginas of expectant mothers for foetuses to devour – like the recent BNP ones that reapproppriate the image of Churchill and war heroes to promote racial purity.
Or ought I pre-empt even gestation and ask Nick Griffin to whisper sweet, malicious nothings into my nutbag each morning to turn me sperms suspicious before they make the Windrush into a potentially liberal ovum – “in fact Nick, while you’re down there…”
Although Nick wouldn’t be up for any of that as the ol’ gays are despised by him and his grey drizzle of a recently outed army – 12,000 British BNP members, maximum – of whom only one in eight are female, so should they achieve utopia they’re going to have to get a lot more liberal on the “same sex” liaison front.
I, as alluded, whilst a befuddled lad made a film with Mark Collett – I say “with”- it was more an expose than a collaboration, we weren’t the Coen brothers, I was a heroin addict and he was a racist (part 1 http://tinyurl.com/r8ngs6 and indeed part 2 http://tinyurl.com/yju7jxc and finally part 3 http://tinyurl.com/yk5ngl2 ) during the film Mark, who is now head of BNP public relations, delightedly referred to homosexuals as “AIDS monkeys”. Perhaps you didn’t get that so I’ll repeat it – the man who is HEAD OF BNP PR referred to gay folk as AIDS monkeys, I fancy then, with this in mind, that we, the right thinking people of Earth are on relatively safe ground when it comes to the “war of words” with televised bigots.
Presumably Griffin and Collett will have some manner of consultation before QT where they’ll discuss strategy.
Griffin: Right, Mark this is a great opportunity for the party to make an impact – how are you getting on with the slogans?
Collett: Rather well actually. “Is Brown getting you down? Both the politician and the skin colour? Vote BNP.”
Griffin: Great. It rhymes and will make me seem damned sophisticated – the audience, by which I mean the white heterosexual audience, will love it. Anything on the woofters?
Collett: Yep – call ‘em Aids monkeys – break a leg.
I think the BBC are right to grant a forum to nit wits, Lord alone knows I’ve said some silly things on the Corporation’s dime (Did they mention it?) and I have great confidence in the ability of British people to recognise prats peddling rhubarb and that’s what the BNP are. Right-wing views can be seductive and toxic in troubled times when astutely rendered by Machiavels but belched out by that tit Griffin I’m sure it’ll just be an amusing bit of irrelevant TV.
Originally published in The Sun. Russell donated his fee for writing this article to The London Gypsy Traveller Unit
On the money again Russ, me thinks! Personally i’d like to see sikhs, muslims and other as many other minority groups as possible join the BNP if only to piss Mr Griffin off. Imagine a BNP membership of 80% non-whites. Would it be possible for them to de-select the fat fascist pig as leader?
92% cucumber…. make of that what you will Russ :)
They describe themselves as socialist, so I guess they’re a left-wing fascist party rather than a right wing party. You know… kind of like some other National Socialists we might remember from history lessons.
Well done and well said! I have missed your perspicacious writing. It is very heartening to see you using your web site for something so important and so positive. Please, please write more and about topics that matter – you have a unique voice and so much to say that is interesting and provocative. I’ve followed your career since 2006 and the first thing I noticed about you is how intelligent you are – use all your gifts, for they are considerable.
I really appreciate that you have done this.
Nice article Russell. Thank you. x
JUST LET US ALL GET TOGETHER AN ” CUDDELLLL” I Will Aways Love You.,Will Await For Y Forever. LOVE. Teach me My Teacher. Bring Me To Life. Later….Merrily(!). ;)
Russell, I actually love you. As a British mixed race girl it makes me feel a lot more comfortable to know that people like you and your (other) fans are standing up and saying they are wrong. No matter how much Britishness the BNP try and take away from me, people like you (and eveyone else on this comments list) make me feel part of the team again. I think you’re smashing. Thank you.
3rd line – by “they” I mean the BNP – damn that fast angry happy typing,
Thank you, Russ. Nicely done. I hope to see more writing from you in the near future. Lots of love. xxx
Hehe norbert, LMAO, gotta admit, that was funny as hell!
!
Awwwww, Mr brandy wandy’s not afraid of a few home truths is he. This pervert isn’t censoring his forum isn’t he? COWARD!!! we know what you are Brand.
Nice one Russ – Keep fighting the Good fight – Peace & Love
yOU PIECES OF SHIT ARE GOING DOWN
Just watched QT – Nick No Mates Griffin did indeed come across as a silly sod. Can imagine Russell saying ‘what you need is a lovely cuddle mate’. Poor old Nick was under so much pressure that I’m sure he’s have just sobbed with relief that someone was being nice to him.
I give Russell Brand credit for trying but he’s far too humorous, appallingly pretentious and capricious about a very serious and scary rise in right wing/anti-semetic white supremacy. The BNP should be kept OFF Telly! Why not? They are a blame based movement who use bogus science and sophistry to create divisor and violence. In a current climate where Jordan is worshipped they could easily sway a few of the viewers so i say zero platform to these thugs! Not once in his article does Russell Brand address why the BNP won two seats; because the muddle class new age Chelsea/Westminster donothings like Brand don’t live in council housing and don’t experience being discriminated against, crowded out and forgotten-be you white or any other colour. The class system, the credit crunch, lack of optimism, of local heroes and solid education etc this breeds extremism and as someone who’s grandparents lived through the McCarthy era in the US, its not just nuts and kooks that you have to fight but very powerful people, so approaching without Mtv ‘yeah dude’ style idiocy might help fight the good fight.
By the way Russell, “rendered by Machiavels ” in juxtaposition with the BNP incorrect usage of the concept of Machiavelli. There is nothing cunning, proactive or subtle about racial extremism.