Archive for December, 2009

From Twitter: I got my cat a passport- he got arrested for carrying cat-nip, which is cute. And a gun which is less so.

December 7th, 2009

From Twitter: My BBC News story- “Those hamster toys are dangerous!” If you put them in your private pocket. Unlike real ones- what a swizz.

December 7th, 2009

From Twitter: I might try and sneak on programmes. I could be a Master Chef- how about a delicious bowl of custard? Nut cutard? Come back Ainsley!

December 7th, 2009

From Twitter: When did the BBC become so lade with floosies? Strictly Come Dancing? Strictly Pole-Dancing more like it. And on my license fee.

December 7th, 2009

From Twitter: I’m at the BBC… Loose. I might run into News 24 and make some announcements. Possible about the Nazi apologists at The Mail. Suggestions?

December 7th, 2009

From Twitter: I’m performing in Loose Women today. Sorry, on Loose Women. Old habits…

December 7th, 2009

From Twitter: Are you in Britain? Then watch me on Lorraine Kelly on GMTV. I’m going to promote my “Scandalous” DVD by persuading her to strip at 9.01am.

December 7th, 2009

From Twitter: The Daily Mail tell lies. “Nathan Kay” is a pustule of untruth. I suppose we ought be grateful they’ve stopped supporting Hitler.

December 7th, 2009

From Twitter: At “Berkley Square Ball”- which isn’t in Berkley Square- what a swizz. Next they’ll be asking me for one of me balls.

December 3rd, 2009

From Twitter: Right. Back to Booky Wook 2 now. The hardest part about an autobiography is the “auto”. And authors don’t get groupies – it’s all “auto”.

December 1st, 2009
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