Be a part of the upcoming Booky Wook 2 Tour by sending us your questions, ideas and stories. We want to hear from you! Send in any questions you have for Russell, Matt or Mr Gee as well as contributions to old radio show favorites…
· GAY: Send your gay-related problems or issues for Russell and Matt to solve
· Nanecdotes: Humorous anecdotes about your beloved eccentric nans
· News Stories: Russell and Matt discuss your bizarre news stories – we would especially like to hear any local stories pertinent to the tour destinations (Edinburgh, Newcastle, Manchester, Bristol, Birmingham)
· Cry for Help: Russell and Matt will respond to your problems with their own unique advice
· Sounds nice, is nasty / Sounds nasty, is nice: Words that sound pleasant but are not nice… and vice-versa
Also, send us any suggestions you have for new items. We await your inspiration, beloved Blighty!
Please leave your contributions in the comment field below or email to rbtv10@gmail.com
The first episode of Russell’s new radio show will be broadcast on Talksport on October 9th
One chaste-of-heat day in early January this very year, my mother I were faced with the mission of transporting my sister from our homestead to the grandmother’s house on the other side of some fields heaving with snow. All the while our pet dog was skirting in and out of our trudging steps up Barnston hill, with her Westy fur dipping in and out of the snow as wan as our spirits were becoming in this god forsaken cousin-of-a-hike.
We emerged at the foot of an icy tongue of road that lead up to the good lady’s house, skiddadled up it like a cartoon cast of critters, caught our icey breaths, then took to the warm and glowing indoors of the beloved grandparents. We plotted to live my sister here you see, for to drive through a certain overhanged bypass to get her to school everday was a no-go consideration.
All was good and proper in the senile house-of-nod – East of Eden, til’ my Nan commented on the conduct of Johnathon Ross and Russell Brand for the former was announcing his retirement from his BBC contract of the time in answer to the residual Saschgate build-up that seemed to outdrift the enormity of the snow that day. The words she had for you were so Spurious that I pulled down my trousers and pants, stripped off the thermals beneath them, chinked off my frozen undergarments with an ice axe, whipped out my dinkle and said, “Nan! No need to put the kettle on, I’m burning up like a sieve passing through Dante’s faeces.”
I let forth a golden shower onto her front lawn and freed up the roads from Russell to Rome. Nobody talks like that about my Russkins.
An Amendment to my Nanecdote: -
One chaste-of-heat day in early January this very year, my mother and I were faced with the mission of transporting my sister from our homestead to the grandmother’s house on the other side of some fields heaving with snow. All the while our pet dog was skirting in and out of our trudging steps up Barnston hill, her Westy fur dipping in and out of the snow as wan as our spirits were becoming in this god forsaken cousin-of-a-hike.
We emerged at the foot of an icy tongue of road that lead up to the good lady’s house, skiddadled up it like a cartoon cast of critters, caught our icey breaths, then took to the warm and glowing indoors of the beloved grandparents. We plotted to leave my sister here you see, for to drive through a certain overhanged bypass to get her to school everday was a no-go consideration.
All was good and proper in the senile house-of-nod – East of Eden, til’ my Nan commented on the conduct of Johnathon Ross and Russell Brand, for the former was announcing his retirement from his BBC contract of the time in answer to the residual Saschgate build-up that seemed to outdrift the enormity of the snow that day. The words she had for you were so Spurious that I pulled down my trousers and pants, stripped off the thermals beneath them, chinked off my frozen undergarments with an ice axe, whipped out my dinkle and said, “Nan! No need to put the kettle on, I’m burning up like a sieve passing through Dante’s faeces.”
I let forth a golden shower onto her front lawn and freed up the roads from Russell to Rome. Nobody talks like that about my Russkins.
Words that sound pleasant but are not nice…
Definitely clunge. It has a soothing ring to it. Sounds like a form of large sea shell, a new type of cutlery, or an exotic fruit.
It lulls one into a false sense of security. Then BAM. It means vagina.
I love you both a little too much.
X
Also,
My blind grandma, to my sister;
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
X
It’s so long since I heard you say ‘Pin Pin’ if you say it live in Manchester I will do a back flip in my seat, along with many others I should think. Maybe the whole audience will rotate, like on a spit. (I am vegetarian though.)
Could Matt tell us exactly what he thought and said when he heard about Sachsgate fiasco?
So great to have you all back.
cry for help na been screaming for years.Grew up in Skirmett near where Mick Jagger used to hide out,much fun getting run over by his crazy driving on multiple occasions,bastard.Mums an English rose through and through,now hiding in australia.Mum also used scare all my few friends away because she is a white witch,Idecided enough was enough and nicked off to my grans at 13.The intercity train to London was fun overnight,however the trip to Marlybone Station alone wearing mums red lippy was not.Inearly got there.I dont wear make up anymore.Anyhow lifes what you make it and at 16 Iwas sitting on a plane bound for Australia to meet my lovely Uncle.Not so lovely it turned out.Blah di blah.Anyhow my lifes good now I have plenty of black days where i would love to exhale ,but beautiful things like Russel brand seep into my phykeee and all is fabulous again.This morning I had a shit feeling so I wacked on my favourite song by Spilt enz Igot you,and life seemed great again,keep up the celeb russ cause you reach places you probably didnt know.xxxxx
what happened to my blog you buggers
nanecdote :- when matt’s mamgu and grandad mentioned Mel gibson’s interuption of apocolypto, when it was directors commentary. Or when russels nan mentioned that people like me (mixed racist) didn’t know if they were coming or going! it was hilarious!
and then… all of a sudden…. A BOOT CAME THROUGH THE CEILING!
You ran circles around Paxman dahling, well done!
Any anecdotes about the new M&S front enhancing (‘38 per cent visual enhancement in size’) boxer briefs? Seems like there’s a joke or two in there somewhere.
esp. with the leaked email from Paxman to M&S about the ‘widespread gusset anxiety’ in Britain’s men.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1317468/Marks-Spencers-15-pants-offer-boost-male-appearance.html
I can’t wait. Hit me up Russell. Let’s talk.
I’d love to interview you for my next show.
http://justapodcast.com
Would you ever consider doing the voice for an audio book, and which one?
what do you think about the generalisation that males and females have their own traits. Innate or conditioned? Can you ponder this with humour to cheer up a female who likes detail, wants to talk things through, finds it hard to ask for what she wants becos she fears rejection, reads much into the tone of voice and all that so called female stuff. I NEED ANSWERS!!!!! Its a good subject and obviously involves matters sexual and relationships and as you are about to get married this is very topical! What??
hugs and best wishes to you and your beloved
jacqueline in Edinburgh xx